“Ah, so I see FB is being redundant as ever. Repeat posts to tell me who I know commented/liked posts that are already in my feed. Signing out of this ridiculousness.”
“It’s the little things in life that really make me happy…like finally having enough time today to shave my legs! I feel like a new person!”
“My hard boiled eggs have been retaining water. The eggs must have been meant to be female chicks!” [That is revolting. -Ed.]
“These teenagers these days (wow I sound old) are so different than when we were in middle school, it amazes me. Shocking, what’s wrong with parents?????”
“There is an attorney who is on many of our cases, and his assistant is a very nice young girl who I have dealt with on many occasions. She seems very capable, but I have also always suspected she is very young. I believe my suspicions were confirmed when I just called to tell her that they failed to file a document and her response was, ‘fudge.’ She then went on to say that she’d find out ‘what the heck went wrong with that’ and get back to me. Hahaha awesome.” [I died halfway through this. -Ed.]
“sorry for the distribution of negativity on fb (not really) but i hate everything today.”
“I hate that the lady on my answering system at the office tells me, ‘you have one new message, would you like to hear it?’ it’s like… no, i’m just checking my voicemail for the heck of it.”
"Signs of Possible Snobbery: A Partially Fictionalized Facebook Exchange" by Kristen Roupenian
“This message makes no sense and those are not my initials, but thank you for what appear to be the good wishes.”
“Just got my son his free Mickey Mouse 25th edition ears from the Disney store. You all should if seen me speed walking through the mall like a Mad Women trying to get this before they ran out. HAHAHA.. I got there just in the nick of time because they only had 3 ears left. Whelp I guess I got my workout in for the day!!!”
