February 2012
6 posts
“I felt like this Corvette was trying to race me this morning. Considering I have a Focus that would be like an Olympic track star asking me to race…there’s no competition! To be honest, I wouldn’t be running competition to anyone except a baby that’s just learning to walk!”
“Can’t seem to get enough sleep lately. I have gone to sleep 3 times this week at or before 10 o’clock, and still I’m tired every day!”
“couple thoughts. #1, i should probably consume something other than coffee…. #2, just because someone is ‘part of this community’ doesn’t make them a decent human being. just sayin’.”
“Facebook, What book? Slutbook? They need to call this f#ck book. Picture looking good but in person Yuckbook. Hellbook, Yellbook, B#tchs cant Spell book. Hate behind your back, but in person wish you Wellbook. Glitchbook, Snitchbook, Fake family Listbook. Posting on your page, stealing your B#tchbook. Rudebook, Feudbook, tell your every Movebook. Dont need TV, sh#t is here: Newsbook!!...
“How many different flavors of Cheerios are they going to come out with?! They’re ruining a classic” [There are currently 13 flavors of Cheerios; one is dulce de leche. -Ed.]
January 2012
9 posts
“The real question is whether our citizenry has the maturity and largeness of mind to accept the idea of government that is not chartered to be our Mom, knowing all our business and ordering us to share the toys. Such a government would have, for starters, a lot less to do. It would cost us less, and be less exploitable by demagogues and special interests. That would be OK with me – I can go...
“No more eating right before bed. I had one of those really vivid dreams that was too good to be true, then “woke up” in my dream with evidence that it was not a dream, then went to sleep. Woke up really confused, then really disappointed. Now, it’s kinda funny that my mind is so good at tricking me. =/”
“homeless people, don’t say god bless me.”
“‘A woman is only a woman but a good cigar is a smoke’ haha”
“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!” [GIVE ME ALL YOUR...
“Loving Piers Morgan’s interview with President Carter. I simply love Carter—he will always be my favorite president.” [No offense to President Carter, but this is boring as shit. -Ed.]
“Observation(s) for Monday:
I would like more sleep.”
“im always like hmmm i want a girlfriend… but then i realize what girl in there right mind would want to exercise hike, bike, urban explore and party the way i do w out being a puss or a drag on my day lol”
“walked mary baby all around sumner neighborhood shes such a campus cutie ? my pitty… a fckn lil pussy magnet is what she is ;)”
[I have removed the...
December 2011
11 posts
“One of my new favorite things is looking at food ‘porn.’ Just go to google images and type in chili dogs or nachos and you’ll see what I’m talking about”
“Once I read a message I either archive, reply, or delete it. If it sits in my inbox it’s just one more thing I have to remember to do later. (I will flag a message for later if I don’t immediately have time to reply.)”
“People are so stupid when they bid on something on e bay days before the auction is over!! Duh, people are just going to outbid you and make the price go high!!!”
“why the fuck can’t adults join a conference call on time?” [Fair. -Ed.]
“don’t try to teach a pig to sing. first of all, they don’t know how, and second, if you do, it’ll irritate the pig.”
“‘The Help’ - I want it on dvd!!!”
“Just so everyone knows, I have a CHRISTMAS TREE in my living room (not a holiday tree), my kids are getting CHRISTMAS PRESENTS (not holiday gifts) and we will eat CHRISTMAS DINNER (not a holiday meal), and I will attend a CHRISTMAS PARTY (not a holiday party). I will also very cheerfully wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS! (not… happy holidays). By the way,if you want to have a Happy...
“Kinda like how black friday being the day after a holiday where we r supposed to realize and give thanks for all that we r blessed to have……shows how greedy, superficial and rude people can b. Great message we r teaching the next generation!!!”
“All people care about are the deals and getting more gifts than the next person. Disgusting!!! That is not the meaning of Christmas…smh!”
“Today is a sad day, I’m going to return half the stuff I bought for myself on my shopping spree last weekend! I’ve come to my senses and realized I really don’t need to have all of it! Looking at my credit card statement helped me make this tough decision!”
“We were just Christmas shopping, I realized by everyone’s annoyance with eachother and rudeness how nobody remembers the meaning of Christmas, it’s actually pretty disgusting. Everyone is so greedy and teaching their kids the same # it’smoregiftsthatmatter”
November 2011
35 posts
“I’ve decided that today should be national ‘stop being a coward’ day. Quit avoiding ‘friends’ & pointing fingers. If there’s someone in your life whom with you’ve a bone to pick, just confront them & quit tip toeing & backtalking. I’d rather someone told me the truth (even if it hurt my feelings) than hear it after...
“reflecting on the wisdom of The Chuck ‘sometimes we’ve got a big sh#t sandwich and we all have to take a bite’. rough decisions today…. :(“
“Christmas Ale is taking up a lot of counter space in my apartment. Because it is heaven.” [This one is mine. -Ed.]
“Dear Dr. Pepper 10: Fuck you, ‘not for women.’ how about ‘women not for dr. pepper’ assholes.”
“Dear Salvation Army Bell Ringer, My notebook, work gloves and logo’d jacket indicate that I am a vendor and thus in and out of grocery stores all day. And while I support your mission, Christmas wishes prior to Thanksgiving piss me off. So, since I’ll be passing you about a hundred times a week for the next month, please be advised, the next 300 lb. dirty Santa looking guy...
“In my dream last night i went to the store and bought sour gummy worms chyeah!!!!”
“Nothing like college burrito at 2am after the bars then waking up and having it again for breakfast lol”
“Billie Mays’ beard”
things i hate: couples being shmoopy in the grocery store. really? all i want is to buy my noms, but you guys have to ruin everything by being all over each other
Any employer who doesn’t hire a Penn State bc they are a Penn Stater is against the law. You should know that! [Incorrect. -Ed.]
“Hello Yes, I’m a female. I push doors that clearly say PULL. I laugh harder when I try to explain why I’m laughing. I walk into a room and forget why I was there. I count on my fingers. I hide the pain from my loved ones. I say it is a long story, when it really is not, just to get out of having to tell it. I cry a lot more than you think I do. I care about people who...
“Thankfulness: yesterday I was thankful the tonsil spot was gone. But before I could write about it, it came back and was on both sides. This morning I’m all clear again. Today also I am thankful for my Thanksgiving style recipe exchange tonight!”
“#lol@latinachickphonefighting withherbabydaddyonthebus. dude for real, it was funny……..”
“Someone always has an opinion, unfortunately its usually wrong!”
“The lady next door really shouldn’t try to talk to me before I’ve had coffee, I have no idea what’s going on before coffee”
“This wind is ridiculous! My hair looked cute when I left this morning. Not anymore:(“
“Fell in love with a dress at the Loft. Saw it had a side zipper. It was near the sale stuff, but it was merely for sale, not on sale. $89. Still love it, but I’m not invested.”
Julie Klausner's readings from JC Penny's Facebook... →
The fabulous Miss Julie Klausner reading excerpts from JC Penny’s Facebook wall at the first ever live taping of the How Was Your Week podcast is simply too much, i.e. fantastic.
Sometimes i just feel like cutting certian people out of my life - but i guess i have too big of a heart and just continue to forgive and allow the same crap to continue to happen time and time again…smh
just spent two hours cleaning up the office shared drive and feel accomplished. I cannot manage chaos… Still much more work to be done. How do shared drives turn into dumpsters??
Just spent 2 hours working on the leaves for the 5th time. And the thing that sucks is the tree in my yard still has most of the leaves on it and so do the trees behind us. Blah!!!
Gotta love getting woken up out of a sound sleep to my f#%*^~! Dog eating the garbage all over the kitchen floor!! Why me?? What’s the matter with his dumb ass?????
I hate that little girls or dumbass guys run around claiming they like dubstep or electronic music when in actuality they just like skrillex or tiesto because he is on mtv…. get a clue youre not a fan